What a bad week for me and what a great week for Bruce.

Bruce's new job has him walking almost constantly for his entire 8-hour shift.

My knee, acting up from a December fall on an icy sidewalk in Chicago, has kept me from walking at all

He's down six pounds this week and I'm up four pounds.

I'm very happy for him.  I hope to get back on track soon... before I gain back everything I've lost so far!!!

I don't think they exist in Elkhart, Indiana.  Oh yea, every fitness club in the area tells me they have professional personal trainers, but they're lying!!! 

I joined a club a few months ago and on day one I asked to meet with the trainer for an orientation.  "Oh, we don't really do that." I was told.  Um... do you have anyone here that can show me the machines, I asked.  "Yea, the guy who works tomorrow night can help you."

I met Bubba the next evening, excited to learn some sort of routine that would help me get in shape.  Bubba asked me about my fitness goals.  I took that as a good sign that some sort of a plan-of-action was forthcoming.  I told him I wanted to lose weight and tone up so I wasn't so jiggly.

Bubba advised me to walk on the treadmill.  Well Bubba, I thought, I have a treadmill at home.  I paid for a membership here so I could learn exactly how to get my body into shape. 

What I said was, "You guys have all of these different machines here, can't I use some of them to help get me in shape?"  Bubba showed me a few different weight machines.  I asked about reps and the amount of weight I should be pushing.  He just told me to do whatever felt right.  I asked if I should do the weight machines every night or every other night.  Again, he said I should do whatever feels right.  Dang... that can't be right. 

I really want to win this competition because I sooooo want someone to help me figure out what to do.  I have just about every book, tape and machine that exists.  I just need a game plan.  It's a bit overwhelming trying to figure out the best way to move forward.  For now, I've settled on the treadmill and my Thin Thighs in 30 Days routine.

I received the email below this week from both a co-worker and my cousin.  It's so funny I thought I should share it here.  I don't think Jillian or Bob will appreciate the humor 

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM   (worth reading to the end)
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.  Although I am still in great shape, since being a high school football cheerleader 25+ years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.  My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!  The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

• MONDAY:
  Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!  Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!
• TUESDAY:
  I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
  treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
• WEDNESDAY:
  The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why in the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.
• THURSDAY :
  Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being over an hour late. It took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom.  Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
• FRIDAY :
  I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.  Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
• SATURDAY :
  Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
• SUNDAY :
  I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little dear-heart) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

I walked a mile in the treadmill tonight and I FEEL GREAT!  It's been a while since I've gotten these muscles moving and instead of complaining, they're actually jumping for joy.

My trick to keeping focused while I'm on the treadmill is I watch my Leslie Sansone - Walk Away the Pounds videos. 

I started with the one-mile walk tonight.  Hopefully, by next week, I'll have worked my way up to the two-mile video.  I also have the three-mile video, but I've never walked to that one.  Maybe someday soon.

Leslie has a class full of women walking in place, while I walk on my treadmill.  She has a warm up, cool down and stretches.  And, during the walk, the women in her class are also moving their arms.  I follow them as I'm on the treadmill and feel that I'm getting a better workout than if I was just walking. 

I remember learning, somewhere along the way, that you shouldn't hold onto the hand rails while you're walking on a treadmill.  If you keep your arms moving, you'll use up more calories.

After I did my mile walk, cool down and stretches (she does the stretches after the walk because, she says, your muscles are nice and warm and pliable), I rested for about five minutes and then did Day 1 of Thin Thighs in 30 days routine.

I bought this booklet more than 10 years ago and every time I get back into a fitness routine, I pull it out and do the full 30 days.  There are six different leg exercises, and a set number that you have to do each day, along with your walking.

The best thing I learned from this book is to do the movements as if you are on a stage and a crowd of people are watching you.  That really helps me focus on doing each movement correctly, instead of just slamming through them, sloppily, to get them done.

Bruce worked out on our Joe Weider gym today.  I'm sure he's going to be sore tomorrow!  This machine is about 15 years old, but still as effective as ever.  It has a station for each major muscle group.  It has one station where you lift yourself up with your arms bent and then lift up your legs.  You really have to have some major ab muscles to do it.  I got to the point last year where I could pull myself up and lift up my knees so my upper thighs were horizontal to the floor.  But, I couldn't take it to the next level to make my lower legs horizontal as well. 

We knew our exercise equipment was in the basement, we just couldn't get to it.  It's the only room in our house that is ever cluttered... mostly because it's out of sight.

Well, Bruce and I made it through the first week of our diets pretty well and, starting Monday, we want to start on our exercise program.  So, this evening, we cleaned the basement.

The trash guys are going to curse us this week, but we cleared out everything that was standing between us and our quest for physical fitness!

My plan for tomorrow night is to start with the treadmill and then move on to my Biggest Loser workout video. Bruce plans to start on the exercise bike followed by free weights and the weight machine.